mE To aLL

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Death is not that bad

Why am I dying to live if I'm only living to dye? Sometimes I don't think about death, it's like there's no death, or it's too far, maybe 'till then, there would be a new device that will make us live for ever, or at least longer. Anyway, I forget death, I don't think about death, it's good actually, but in what way exactly? Is it because I'm afraid of death, and the idea of it scares me. Or is it because I think that death is a necessarily ending for me, for all of us. I had a problem before, I used to stay calm when students beat me and push me, I used to shut my mouth when the baker give the bred to another buyer who came after me, I used to prefer to stay out of problems because I might end up in a hospital. Then, I've grew up, I've changed, I've realized that the fear inside me couldn't let me feel free, happy and safe. I've become to know that I'm part of this life, part of this disease. So I should deal with it, I should fight, I should educate myself, arm myself, and be prepared all the time. If I don't do this, who will educate me? Who will protect me? Who will be there ready to help me? I won't let some government tells me how to think or how to act, it's my life, not theirs. I was tired from people telling me to drink this, eat this, don't do this, don't go there, don't buy this, don't get married, or, it's early for you, it's too much for you, leave it to professionals, scientists know better, live normal, get a life, don't bother yourself. And I hate this one the most ''why you care man?''.

However, I lived an illusion life, a negative lifestyle, because I was afraid, I was afraid of going out at night so I wouldn't get stabbed by a thief, I used to live in a great fear without realizing that I was a fool by being like this, I feel petty on myself when I remember these days. I thought if I do this, I'll live longer, I'll guarantee my life, but was I living? I rather to live one day like a man than to live a whole life like a coward. But I didn't know this, I was a kid, I used to listen to older people, watch them and observe them. Now, I'm 21 years old, and they were lost, thank God I'm not going to be like them, disturbed and worried all the time. They think that values are subjectives, something that should be left aside. Therefor, they can't tell what's really true and what's not, they only know how to fight to live, they work hard and harder but only few reach up around many, so they believe in luck, and I don't believe in luck. I look at the great figures through our history who gave their lives to send a true message, they have suffered but never stopped, and some of them died at a very young age, they've been threatened to dye but they were never afraid from death. This kind of people are still out there trying to tell us something, their lives are in jeopardy but no one cares as long as it's not him who's dying, or maybe the media don't want us to hear them.

So I don't care if I dye tomorrow, as long as I did what please my heart today. Why am I living and living for no good reason. To get a job in a company is not good enough, I want to make my own path, my own destiny. I'll keep living to fight 'till there's no reason to fight, I'll keep making better values. And be honest with myself if I'm living to please people or to please myself by making people pleased.

Let them shoot me, stab me, blow me. Death is death, I was born to dye, and I dye to live again, but I'll never dye again. It doesn't matter how long can I live, what matter is what have I done in my life, what reflects have I left. Because life it's too short, but my accomplishments could stay for thousands of years. I admit that death is a misfortune, yeah death is a great misfortune, but only for those who have done nothing in their lives except competing others. I also compete, but I compete to give more, to be a trustworthy, to speak the truth, to be loved even more. Not competing to have the fastest car, the nicest job, or to be a famous, or to be the funniest by telling lies.

To conclude, death would always wait for me on the finished line in a race competition, whether I was running fast or slow, the road have no other direction. So I'd rather to be ready than to fool myself by being slower.

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